Subject: Rewind

Relationship is complex. I really mean it. Be it friendship, lovers, or parents-children relationship it mostly ends in argument, disaffection, and hurt. Behind the masks of relationships, there lies a one way harmless relationship called ‘crush’. I have had so many crushes; my first crush at the age of 11 was a Hollywood actor and as years progressed it turned to those within closer proximity . Among all, H is the most closest to heart, perhaps because he appeared at the important transition phase of my teenage hood.

I first knew him during my school’s extra-curricular activity, he was my unit leader. There wasn’t any spark at first; I don’t believe in attraction at first sight too. It all started when my friends started pulling my legs when he became my unit leader consecutively for months.

As a unit leader, one is required to note down the arrival time of each subordinates, which means he got to ask me. But for some weird reason, instead of asking me he started asking my fellow subordinate. This went for the entire week, and I couldn’t resist my disappointment and asked him directly “why aren’t you asking me directly?” He gave a naughty smile and deliberately turned to the other subordinate. That moment, the spark ignited. Similar to a witch’s portions in a boiling pot, our peers were the portions in our boiling attraction. One day, a wrong portion got accidentally added and the magic vanished right there without a warning.

Even now when I think of H, I get into euphoria – a feeling which starts and ends in a happy note. Several other crushes I had in between, ranging from few seconds to weeks also give me the same excited state of mood. In relationships,however, this feeling is not a continuum; it comes in parts, primarily the first few instances. By the end of the reminiscence, you don’t feel the same as you started. It is sad that after some point in one’s life, when serious commitments take turn, new crushes return back to celebrities, to a point that one started off with.